Parenting in the Pew
Guiding Your Children into the Joy of Worship
Active Parenting for a Joyful Lord’s Day
We love having our children with us. We believe that God has entrusted to parents the joy and duty of discipling their own children. Your children are welcome here. We want to help equip you to lead and care for them in a way that brings glory to Jesus. The thought of a child’s earliest memories including worshiping with their family is, to us, sweet prospect.
Seven Wise Practices for Active Parenting
BE PREPARED FOR TEACHABLE MOMENTS
There are going to be times when your wonderful child won’t be the “angel” we all hope they will be. On these occasions, it is perfectly acceptable, even highly encouraged, that you take your child discretely out of the service and administer a “teachable moment”. It might be helpful to sit near a rear exit while you are beginning this process. This will allow you to leave the service and return without becoming a distraction in worship.
EXPLAIN EXPECTATIONS BEFORE SUNDAY
If the first time your children have heard what you expect is when you begin shooting them disapproving looks during the sermon, you are setting them up for failure. Train your kids by your conversation during the week that you have expectations that they will participate and be a blessing during the service and throughout the day as the church is gathered.
RECEIVE HELP GRACEFULLY
One of the most precious things about our church is the readiness of so many families to serve each other. So, do not be offended or insulted if someone offers help when your child is in a level-five meltdown. That’s no indictment on your parenting. It is an offer of love and kindness in hopes of serving you.
ELIMINATE ROADBLOCKS
Take your child to the bathroom before the service. Get them a sip of water. Then, take your child to the bathroom during the greeting time. Work to eliminate struggles before they occur. One key factor for success in many homes is getting to bed on time every Saturday to give them the strength to endure.
SET THE EXAMPLE
The best way to help your children understand that worship is important is to show them how it is impacting you. Sing boldly, pray earnestly, take notes, pay attention, and put your phone away (unless it’s your bible) . Then on the ride home, be sure to engage your family in how the Lord was speaking to you and them during the Lord’s Day.
PLAN FOR SUCCESS
Bring notepads & pens for those who can write on which to take notes. Give them their own Bible. Some families have a bag set apart for the supplies they need on Sundays. Think through the frustrating moments and plan ahead for addressing them.
RINSE & REPEAT
Without question the single most important tip for successful Sundays is practice. Family worship or other times that include opportunities to practice sitting still while someone is speaking are the single best way to prepare your kids to bless others on Sundays. Some families even have practice times during the week where kids practice sitting still while mommy listens to an audio sermon. If the Sunday sermon is the only time your kids are asked to sit still, it will likely continue to be a challenge.
Far less attractive to us is child-centeredness. Do not mistake a whole-family approach to the Lord’s Day for child-centeredness as our patttern. We know that having little ones will bring occasional challenges as they learn to be a part the gathered congregation in a way that blesses others. But, we want to be plain: ignoring a screaming child is not helpful to the child or to those who’ve come to worship. We encourage fathers and mothers to be alert when their child is becoming a distraction and lovingly correct them. In our context active parenting is essential. Our children are never to see church as a “free for all”. Parents are urged to train their children to serve others throughout the Lord’s Day. Keeping track of where your kids are and what they are doing serves your children and the congregation.